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Chuck Norris Jokes - Facts

Here are the 40 newest Chuck Norris facts submitted by our visitors.

Chuck Norris is so strong he can break wind!

Rated 2/5 (1 Vote)

Chuck Norris takes his morning walk between the South and North Korean border.

Rated 4/5 (1 Vote)

Chuck Norris declined playing the Bud Light Knight in the Super Bowl commercial because the role was too feminine and the producers refused to include a beer bong. .

Rated 3.33/5 (3 Votes)

When Chuck Norris gets into the ocean, the sharks get out.

Rated 4/5 (1 Vote)

Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is the reason why Ed Sheeran's legs don't work like they used to before.

Rated 2.67/5 (3 Votes)

Chuck Norris once gave his parents a time-out.

Rated 3.33/5 (3 Votes)

Freddy Krueger has Chuck Norris nightmares.

Rated 2/5 (1 Vote)

Chuck Norris turned Medusa into stone.

Rated 2/5 (1 Vote)

Chuck Norris could kill 50 men with a gun, but he doesn't need to. He's faster than bullets.

Rated 3/5 (2 Votes)

Chuck Norris had three children. They are called Earth, Wind, and Fire.

Rated 4/5 (2 Votes)

In the woods, grizzly bears watch out for Chuck Norris.

Rated 3.33/5 (3 Votes)

Donald Trump won the US election because Chuck Norris allowed him to.

Rated 4/5 (4 Votes)

The game Sorry was invented to apologize to Chuck Norris. The problems is that Chuck Norris doesn't take apologies.

Rated 4/5 (7 Votes)

Chuck Norris once made a mistake. He thought he might be wrong, but wasn't.

Rated 3/5 (3 Votes)

Chuck doesn't have a funny bone. It's called his manly bone.

Rated 4/5 (3 Votes)

Tom Brady can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Tom Brady even farther.

Rated 2.6/5 (5 Votes)

When Chuck Norris eats his food, it comes out better than it was before he ate it.

Rated 1/5 (1 Vote)

Chuck Norris gave Cupid dating lessons.

Rated 3.5/5 (2 Votes)

Onions cry when Chuck Norris chops them.

Rated 3.5/5 (2 Votes)

Chuck Norris won a 10 minute race after giving his competitors a 10 minute head start.

Rated 4/5 (1 Vote)

Chuck Norris threw a snowball and won the Cy Young award.

Rated 3/5 (2 Votes)

Chuck Norris can fix Humpty Dumpty.

Rated 3.5/5 (2 Votes)

Chuck Norris passed his drivers test by playing Mario kart.

Rated 3/5 (2 Votes)

It is said that cats have Chuck like reflexes.

Rated 4/5 (1 Vote)

When Chuck Norris swims with sharks, the sharks are the ones in the cage.

Rated 3.5/5 (2 Votes)

Chuck Norris wears ribbed condoms inside out for his own pleasure.

Rated 4/5 (2 Votes)

When scratching his back Chuck Norris uses live porcupines.

Rated 3/5 (2 Votes)

Chuck Norris can hit a Grand Slam with the bases empty.

Rated 4/5 (2 Votes)

Willie Wonkas chocolate factory was created when Chuck Norris pooped in a shoebox.

Rated 3.25/5 (4 Votes)

Chuck Norris can free hostages by simply pushing escape on his keyboard.

Rated 4/5 (9 Votes)

Chuck Norris, touched it. MC Hammer just stood there.

Rated 3.67/5 (3 Votes)

Chuck Norris never uses a GPS. Nobody tells Chuck Norris where to go.

Rated 3.67/5 (3 Votes)

Chuck Norris can win any fight with his back tied behind his arm.

Rated 2.67/5 (3 Votes)

Chuck Norris throws his house out of the window.

Rated 2.67/5 (3 Votes)

Chuck Norris took a piss in a creek. That creek is now known as the fountain of youth.

Rated 4.14/5 (7 Votes)

Chuck Norris car never needs gas. It runs on anger.

Rated 2/5 (2 Votes)

Jesus wears a bracelet with the initials WWCND?

Rated 2.67/5 (3 Votes)

Fear itself fears Chuck Norris.

Rated 2/5 (4 Votes)

Chuck Norris spies on the NSA.

Rated 1.2/5 (10 Votes)

Kids read comics about Superman. Superman reads comics about Chuck Norris.

Rated 2.29/5 (17 Votes)